


i'm just me

by strandedonthemoon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Biromantic Asexual Character, Coming Out, Harley Keener & Peter Parker Friendship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Tony Stark Coparenting Peter Parker, Mentioned Ben Parker, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Parent Tony Stark, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Peter is biromantic asexual, Supportive May Parker (Spider-Man), Teen Peter Parker, and in honor of pride month I wrote a little something, no endgame spoilers dw :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 01:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19052674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strandedonthemoon/pseuds/strandedonthemoon
Summary: Peter smiled then, because it fit.Biromantic asexual.Huh.





	i'm just me

**Author's Note:**

> in honor of pride month beginning :)

"Hey, Ned?" eleven-year old Peter asked. His hand were shaking.

"Yeah?"

"I think I like boys."

Peter could see Ned turn to him out of the corner of his eye, but he stayed concentrated on the TV. Darth Vader was just about to make the big reveal, and he would rather see that than know his friend's reaction at the news. Especially now that he was being so silent, so different from his usual chatty self. 

He looked down at his hands. "I-I understand if you don't want to be my-my friend anymore. I know it's kinda weird."

"No-" Ned was quick to say. "It's not that."

"Yeah?" Peter asked, glancing at his friend.

"Yeah, man. I just got distracted by Luke Skywalker."

Peter laughed softly, then stayed silent. He looked back down at his hands again. 

"I don't mind that you're gay," Ned continued. "That's the word you use, by the way."

"I know, Ned." Peter said, rolling his eyes, but he was smiling, which was something. "And I don't think I am. I-I like girls and guys. I like both." He finally looked at his best friend properly, but only to see his reaction. 

"Oh! My mom told me the word for that! It's pansexual, I think... or is it bisexual? Wait, let me call my mom." He reached for his phone, but before he could open it, Peter was statching it away, eyes wide and stunned. 

"Ned!" he said, throwing his hands up. "Don't ask her! It's-I don't want anyone to know yet."

"Not even Ben and May?" 

"Especially not them!" Peter slumped down, suddenly tired. He put his hands over his face to hide the fact that he might cry.

Ned's eyes widened. "Dude..."

"I know, I know. It's just-I don't know if they'll be cool with it, you know?" Peter took his hand away from his face and turned his head to look at Ned, his cheek resting on the couch. "They're not my real parents, so they can kick me out whenever they want. I don't want them to-to hate me."

"They would never do that, Peter."

"You don't know that. They could hate gay people for all I know."

"Yeah..." Ned trailed off, scooting closer to Peter until their shoulders were touching. "I get that. My cousin thinks gay people come from the depths of hell as an example of what the devil wants us to be, but my mom says that's stupid, because God is the only being in the universe with the power to create life." 

Peter tensed at that. "Do you think the devil made me?"

"No, man. My cousin is crazy. He thinks the devil made everything. Even science, because it goes against God, even though science is awesome and therefore can't be against God because no awesome thing can be made by anyone but God. That's also what my mom says."

That made Peter snort. He then leaned his head on his best friend's shoulder, sighing. "So I'm not from hell?"

"Nope. God made you, just like he made everyone else. And he made you awesome!"

A laugh escaped Peter's lips before he could help it. "Thanks, man." 

Ned got up and grabbed the remote from where it was discarded. "So? You wanna finish the movie?"

Peter smiled. "Yeah. Let's do this."

 

* * *

 

"I don't like sex," thirteen-year old Peter blurted suddenly.

Ned looked up from his sandwich. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Most guys in our grade talk about it and-and how cool and fun it is and I just-" Peter stopped. He pushed his glasses up. "I don't know, man."

"So you're ace?" 

"Ace?"

That made Ned smile. "Asexual. That means you don't like to have sex." 

"Oh." _Ace_. _Asexual_. "Does that mean I can't be bi?"

Ned rolled his eyes. "You can be both, man. It's not like you can choose, anyway."

"So I'm both." 

"You're both. Biromantic asexual."

Peter smiled then, because it fit. _Biromantic asexual._

Huh. 

 

* * *

 

After Ben died, there were two things that were always on Peter's mind:

_1\. I should have saved him._

_2\. He'll never know I'm bi. Or ace._

Which is kind of stupid. But he couldn't help it.

Every time someone said they were sorry for his loss, or brought him flowers, or gave him a pity-hug, he could feel his heart tug and clench with tremendous guilt because _I should have saved him_ and _he'll never know I'm bi. My uncle- my last blood relative, the closest thing to a father to me- will never know I'm biromantic asexual._

"Peter?" May asked one night. It was almost a month without Ben, and they were having dinner again at that point. Which felt weird for both of them, obviously. But May insisted tonight, and Peter didn't want to upset May, no matter what. He wasn't hungry, but he tried to eat for her sake. 

Plus, he kind of felt guilty that he keeps sneaking out of the house to be Spider-Man and he hasn't told her. 

"Where's your head at, hm?" May said when he didn't answer. 

He looked up from his dinner at May, who was smiling soft at him. Her eyes were slightly red, and she was paler than usual; something in Peter's chest tugged at the sight. 

_I should have saved him._

_He'll never know I'm bi._

"May?" Peter asked, voice breaking. His fork dropped at the floor with a startling clank, his hand shaking too much to hold it up. 

"Peter?" The smile dropped off May's face, and the tug in his chest turned into a burn. "Baby, what's wrong?"

_He'll never know. He died never knowing something really important about me._

 Tears were rolling freely down Peter's face now. "May I-May, I have to tell you something."

"Anything, baby," she said, her eyes dripping in concern. She took his hand in his, and something in Peter broke. 

" _M-May_ ," he sobbed, clutching his stomach because he suddenly couldn't _breathe_. "Ma-May, oh my god. I fucked-I fucked up-p. So b-bad-bad. Like, real-really ba-bad."

There was a screech, and suddenly May was crouching on the floor next to him, her hand cupping his face. She rubbed his cheek. "Peter, baby. Please breathe, baby."

" _May._ " He felt like his lungs were on fire. He felt like a million spiders were crawling all over him. Over his legs, arms, chest. Into his mouth, blocking his airway- into his lungs, filling them up like water. He felt like he was a fish, used to breathing in water but dying in air. He felt crazy. 

_He's not going to be here for my first date. My first kiss. My wedding. Kids. He's never going to come with me to Pride. He's not going to be here for my graduation. He's never going to see me turn eighteen. He's never going to know I'm biromantic asexual._

His aunt nudged something at his lips, and he looked down to see his inhaler. In his half-lucid mind, he forgot that he didn't have asthma anymore and parted his lips, letting the fresh air fill his lungs. He took a deep breath, then inhaled the other hit. And another. Once he was breathing normally again, aside from the occasional hiccup, he deflated, suddenly exhausted. 

"There you go, baby," May cooed, brushing the hair from his face. "Better?"

All he could do was nod at her, trying not to concentrate on the tears streaking down on her face. 

"Good. You're fine, okay? You're fine."

Peter grabbed May's hand from his cheek, keeping it there. Trying to still it, even though his own hand was shaking. "May?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"I-" He closed his eyes and squeezed her hand. "Ben doesn't-I-He's never gonna know, May. I'm not straight and-and he's-and he's never gonna kn-know. May, I-I'm not st-straight. I'm no-not-I'm not and he's never-I can-can't."

"Peter..."

"Please-Please don't be mad," he cried, letting go of her hand and putting it over his eyes.

"Baby, why would I be mad?"

"Please don't be mad at me. _Please_. I'm sorry-I'm so-sorry. I-I ca-can't-"

"Peter," May said, her voice firm. She took his hand away from his face and kissed it. "Peter. I'm not mad. I would never be mad at you for that. Never."

The younger boy slid downing his seat until he was on the floor next to May. Tears were still streaming down his face. "He never got to know, May," he whispered. 

_He's never gonna know I'm not straight._

"Baby..." she brought a hand around his waist, pulling him towards her, then buried her nose into his neck. Peter could feel her teardrops on his shoulder.

"May, he-he died thinking I was-I was so-something else."

"It's okay-it's _okay_."

"No, May. I-He died and I-I can't-he's never go-going to know and it-its killing me."

His aunt didn't say anything. Just buried herself into his neck and hugged him tight.

 _When something can't be fixed,_ Peter thought, _parents hold you. And they let you cry._

_She's holding me and letting me cry because she can't fix this._

_This can't be fixed._

_He'll never know I'm bi. He's never going to know I'm ace._

Peter rested his head on May's and cried into her hair until they both fell asleep. 

  

* * *

 

He and MJ became friends very quickly. 

Especially after she admit that she knew about Spider-Man and the Vulture situation. And that she preferred Ned over him. Because _duh_. Any friend of Peter's had to prefer Ned over him. Ned was so lovable-it wouldn't be right otherwise. 

She also preferred May, which was also a given. May was just like that. She took people in like they were her own and treated them with nothing but respect and kindness and love, no matter what. Her compassion for others was extraordinary, and her resilience was inspiring. It was hard not to love May more than anybody, really. 

"I'm your friend for May perks," MJ said once, while they were out for Thai. May was asking for the check. 

"It's fine," he replied, shrugging. "I'd prefer May, too."

MJ always came to his house for homework now after decathlon. He had a feeling it was also for May perks, but sometimes she stayed even if she wasn't home. They were usually with Ned, but he had a dentist appointment one day and so they were all alone. 

 _Tell her_ , he thought, not for the first time that day. _She doesn't care. Just tell her so it's out of the way._

"Hey MJ?" Peter asked. His voice cracked a little. 

"What?" She replied, her eyes not leaving her history book. Surprisingly, that made him slightly calmer. 

He blurted it before he could help it. "I'm not straight."

"Oh, I know."

"What?"

Michelle finally looked up, making eye contact with him. "I'm pretty sure you're ace but I don't know if you're just gay or bi. I'm still trying to figure it out."

Peter blanched. "Uh-"

"Nope. Don't tell me. I want to figure it out."

"Oh. Uh, okay." Peter went back to his book, still trying to process what just happened. 

"And Parker?" Michelle said. "I think it's cool, that you trusted me with that. Thanks."

A smile made its way onto Peter's face, but he didn't reply. 

Later that week, he was waiting for Ned by his locker when she came up to him. Her arms were crossed and she had a determined look in her eye. When she finally reached him, she kept her voice low enough so that only he could hear what she was going to say. 

"Bi?"

He laughed, nodding. 

She smirked. "Got ya."

 

* * *

 

After the Vulture fiasco, Tony kept a close eye on Peter. 

There were lab days every Friday to make sure he didn't make his web fluid at school. Weekend trips to random places whenever Tony felt spontaneous or taking him along on an international meeting. Sleepovers at the compound and movie nights with Mr. Rhodey or Pepper or Happy or all three. Their relationship turned into something less formal and more... relaxed. Casual. 

 _Familial,_ a part of Peter's brain bugged, but he ignored it. 

Tony also became a lot more affectionate, which was unusual in of itself. Pepper once told him that after Afghanistan, he could only stand the slightest hug sometimes. And even now, after so long, he could only stand so much physical contact. But with Peter, it seemed like he didn't even mind if they were curled up together all day in a messy tangle of limbs, especially after almost two years of knowing each other. In fact, Mr. Rhodey said he might even enjoy it. And Peter trusted Mr. Rhodey's word. The man never said anything unless he was absolutely sure. 

 _Familial_ , Peter's brain teased. _Parental_. 

But no. That wasn't right. Peter hadn't even come out to him yet. 

Which was saying something, because he was out to basically everyone. Even people at his school knew. 

And it's not like Peter didn't want to come out to him. He did. In fact, Tony was probably one of the only people that didn't assume he was straight all the time. When he teased Peter, it was never, _Who is she? Is she cute?_

It was always _they_. 

_Who are they? Are they cute?_

_If you don't introduce me to that crush of yours I'm gonna find them for myself._

_They've got you wrapped around their finger, huh?_

It doesn't matter that Peter didn't actually like anyone at the moment. He actually appreciated Tony's teasing because he always gave him leeway to come out. 

Come to think of it, Peter still didn't know why he hadn't come out yet. There were many opportunities, 

Maybe it's because Tony has known him since he was fifteen, and now he's almost seventeen and he's pushed himself farther into the closet every time he didn't and now it's too late. Which is stupid. 

Peter had a hunch Tony already knew. 

"Kid?" Tony said, breaking him out of his thoughts. "You with me?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah. Right here." Peter tried to smile, but it came out a bit forced. 

Tony turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "You sure, kid? Anything happen at school?"

Peter shrugged, turning away from his mentor's piercing gaze. "Not really. I had a Spanish test today."

_Just tell him._

"Flash was being a dick, but that's not unusual."

_Just tell him. Spill it out._

"Also I'm bi," he blurted, then covered his mouth with his hand. 

_Not like that!_

"I-I didn't mean that," Peter said through his fingers. 

Tony's smile turned impossibly soft. He wheeled his chair closer to Peter, then carefully started peeling Peter's hand away from his mouth. When he was done, he stayed silent for a moment, contemplating, before he seemed to make a decision and run his hands through Peter's curls. "You did mean that, kid."

Peter smiled and leaned into his mentor's touch. "You know?" he asked.

"I know."

"How long?"

"A while. Probably longer than you think." Tony tugged at a knot until it came undone. "Do you mind?"

"No," Peter replied. 

"Good."

They stayed like that for a while in companionable silence, save the occasional huff every time Tony undid a particularly hefty curl or scraped his nails on his head. 

 _Familial_ , he thought, not unkindly. 

"Tony?" 

"Yeah, kid?"

"Thanks."

The older man rolled his eyes. He moved his hand to the nape of Peter's neck, playing with the hair there. "You don't have to thank me," he said, "for treating you with some common decency."

"No, I mean-you never assumed I was straight."

Tony paused. "Why would I?"

Peter didn't have an answer to that, because he was right. _Why would he assume I was straight?_

"Do you wanna finish the schematics for your suit?" Tony asked, breaking the silence. 

"Hell yeah."

_Familial._

 

* * *

 

It was rare that Pepper and Mr. Rhodey were anything but calm and collected. But when Peter walked into the living room of the compound, Pepper was typing furiously on her laptop and Rhodey was talking on the the phone, jaw tense and eyes determined. Tony was nowhere to be seen. 

"Yes, I understand that it's none of my business, but considering the fact that all of the men in your office are idiots, I'm making it my business," Rhodey snapped, huffing. Peter sat next to Pepper and raised his eyebrow in question. 

"Tony's at a meeting," she whispered. "He'll be here in half an hour, hopefully."

Peter shook his head. "Why is Mr. Rhodey mad?" he whispered back. 

"It's a stupid legislation is what it is... Frankly, I don't care if that's offends you, Sir. What you're proposing is a ban, no matter what you believe it is. It's discrimination..."

"They're banning trans people from entering the military," Pepper replied, pushing her laptop to a side. 

"Yeah, well you can shove your transphobia up your ass," Rhodey said, ending the call. He put a shaking hand over his face and took a deep breath. When he took his hand away from his face, it was obvious Rhodey was going to do everything in his power not to let that ban go through. 

"Needless to say," Pepper said, "we're pissed."

Peter was speechless. "Wait-why?"

"Because they're assholes," Rhodey said before Pepper could reply. 

A tense silence stretched as Peter tried to process the news. 

"I have a trans friend at school," Peter finally said, his voice soft. "He-He wants to join the military. Air Force, like you, Mr. Rhodey."

Rhodey smiled sadly. "Yeah."

"Yeah. And now he can't?"

"The ban hasn't been approved by the Supreme Court yet, so there's still a chance it won't go through," Mr. Rhodey reassured. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Peter smiled a little, but it was more of a grimace. A hand landed on his shoulder, and when he looked up, Rhodey was looking at him with dark, thoughtful eyes. "You really care about this, huh?"

The younger boy shrugged. "I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community," he said as an explanation. 

Mr. Rhodey and Pepper didn't even blink. "Damn straight."

 

* * *

 

Meeting Harley Keener was... interesting. To say the least.

"Peter's here!" Tony yelled from across the lab when Peter entered. His arm was elbow-deep in one of the Iron Man suits, and he seemed to be stuck. 

He gave Tony a look. "I know I'm here. You don't have to announce it, you know."

Tony rolled his eyes. "No, I wasn't-Harley, you little shit! Peter's here!"

"Okay! I get it!" a voice shouted back, startling Peter. He turned to where the voice came from and did a double take. 

The boy in front of him was tall, and kind of lanky. His dirty-blonde hair was a mess, sticking out in all directions, and his blue eyes were manic with glee. His shirt and sweatpants were covered in grim, but it didn't seem like he minded. And he was really cute. 

"Harley Keener," the boy said, waving. "Do you watch RuPaul's Drag Race?"

Peter spluttered. "Uh-"

"Kid, you broke him," Tony said, his arm unstuck. 

"Uh, _yeah_ -yeah, I watch it," Peter said, recovering. 

"Gay!" Harley exclaimed suddenly, pumping his fist into the air. 

"Uh-"

"You picked a good one, old man," Harley continued. "You actually picked two good ones. A gay and a gay." He turned to Peter, smiling wildly. "Hi, Gay. I'm Gay."

"Gay?" Peter said, eyes widening, pointing at Harley. 

Harley nodded. "Gay. So are you."

"Bi, actually. How did you know?"

"It's the gaydar, man. Can you sit properly in a chair?"

"No! Can you drive?"

"I'm a chaotic gay. Of course I can't drive."

"Oh my god," Peter said, smiling. Harley smiled back, all teeth and manic glee. 

"Oh, and I don't date white boys," Harley said, shrugging. "Sorry."

"No problem, man. I don't date gays who can't drive because I can't either."

"Amen."

Tony looked between the two boys and sighed. "I should have never introduced you guys to each other."

 

* * *

 

Sometimes Peter rolled the words around his tongue. 

_Bisexual. Asexual. Biromantic Asexual._

Huh. 

It really did fit.

**Author's Note:**

> happy pride month, babes!
> 
> kudos and comment? 
> 
> thanks for reading!


End file.
